The Past , Now and Future
by Milonar
Summary: Takes place after Fic "The reason that I exist" - part 2 . Allen have left Black Order and never returned since then . But he has a daughter ? Will his daughter become an exorcist ? - Lavi's sonXAllen's daughter . And LaviXAllen .
1. Chapter 1 : Allen's existence

**Ah , this is part 2 of "The reason that I exist" . I'm working hard on this one . And may be have some mistakes... Anyway , please enjoy . ( if someone don't know "The reason that I resist , please read . But it's has some mistakes of grammar , too . ) **

**Hope you like it .**

**The Past , Now , And Future .**

**Chapter 1 .**

"Look Daddy , it's snowing ."

My daughter shout . I sighed , looked at the window . It's getting cold soon . Well , it's in November . Heh , my hair is as white as snow . Snow makes me remember something ... I slowly got up , walked to my daughter . She's still looking outside with excited eyes .

"You want to go out , don't you ?"

I asked , pat her head . She turned around to face me , with a soft smile , she quietly said :

"I think...no. Because Akuma could be near here. It's dangerous to go out. And you don't want I injure , do you , Daddy ?"

I nodded. That's too bad . Lately , we have been encountered many Akuma level 3 . They are really strong , and we've had some trouble. May be they still hunting down us . That's a mess . We can't go out much . It's snowing . My daughter said she wanted to play snow ball and I want to go out to get some fresh air, but Akuma can attack again if they see us .

Nineteen year have passed since I left the Black Order .The reason I left it's because Lavi married Lenalee . You call I'm stupid . Well , you're right . I have figured that love is not only blind , but also stupid . So I don't want to love anyone . Because in my mind , loving someone is the same as losing them . And I can't stand it .

Now , I'm thirty-four year olds . I'm old , aren't I? Nineteen years is the long time for me to travel around the world . ( and encountered lots of Akuma ) Because of that , I met my daughter . It's was November and I found her living under the bridge with no parents . So I became her father . She's not my real daughter but I take care of her like she is my truly daughter . I love her . You can say , I only love my daughter and not in love anyone else . My heart is freezing now ...

My daughter is eighteen-years old. She has an innocent, too. Calls "Wings of destruction" or something, I don't remember well. She is a cute girl with cheerful smile , short red hair with red eyes and very active, always wants to go an adventure. But I don't want she goes out much . Because she's too young to understand what happens outside the world .

She will easily get kill by Akuma if she isn't careful. I always warn her to be very careful when fighting an Akuma . Luckily , my daughter always listens my words . She is a good girl who doesn't want make her Daddy worried or sad .

I always with her , protect her . Because I don't want to lost my most important person again . She is only my treasure .

Since her hair is red , I named her "Lavi" . Her name is Lavi Walker . She looks like Lavi but she is a girl , not boy . Sometimes , she makes me remember Lavi . She has the same smile as Lavi, too. I started to miss Lavi . I must forget him now. Because he doesn't love me . "Lavi" in front of me is the one I love . My daughter .

"Err , Lavi , do you want to become the exorcist ?" - I asked before putting myself on the bed. Since Akuma always hunting us, both I and my daughter can't sleep well these days. I really feel tired and want to sleep soon although it's in afternoon ...

"Dad , how many times do you ask me that question ?" - said my daughter , with a giggle she came and sat next to me - "The answer is no . I don't want to be an exorcist . I prefer traveling with you , Daddy . It's so fun than doing missions ."

"Oh , yeah . That's my daughter ." - I chuckled - "But if you're with me , you will always encounter Akuma . It's so dangerous and I don't want to lose you , Lavi . I ..."

"That's enough , Dad . I'm strong enough to protect my self and you . So don't worried , OK ? I'm sure I will be fine ."

She smiled , her smile is familiar... I reached and hold her hand, with a soft smile , I said :

"I love you , Lavi ..."

Her eyes widened for some reason . She sighed , doesn't look happy . She walked to the window , quietly said before turning around and leaving my room :

"I love you , too , Daddy ..."

Sometimes , I don't know who I really love most . My "Lavi" or my daughter ? Perhaps , my daughter knows what I don't love her much . I love someone calls Lavi , not her. My love for my daughter is different. Why I can't stop thinking about "Lavi" ? May be I still love him ...

"What a stupid love ." - I mumbled .

**.**

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**. **

"What is it , Komui ? You called me ?"

I asked , stood in front of Komui's desk with some piles of paper . Komui yawned , looks slack . He's always busy , isn't he ? He lying on the table and beginning said :

"Of course I mean your mission . Lavi , you and your family have a missions now . The mission is finding out about the reason why Akuma have increased lately in Paris . And... Search for Allen's existence ."

"What !? What did you say ?"

I dropped all the papers in my hand . I surprised and confused, too. Allen, what a familiar name . I think I can't forget this name forever. Still he is my love . Allen left Black Order nineteen-years ago. Everyone thinks he died. I can't helping thinking about him. I always hope Allen still alive . Now , I ...

"One of our Finder saw Timcanpy around in Paris . You know , Tim always with Allen . That's mean ..."

"Allen still alive !" - I yelled , very happy . What does Allen do in the Paris ? What have he do in nineteen-year has passed ? I'm starting to wonder and want to see him soon .

The reason is because I still love him . He is the person I love most , after my son and my wife . I will do anything to see Allen again .

"And I think this is the first mission your son has . Wish you good luck with searching ." - Komui ended his words and continue working with sleepy eyes . - " Remember to take care of my sister , will you ?"

"Yes , sir ."

I said and quickly returned to my room to prepare things for my trip . I think I will go by myself . This is my problem between me and Allen . Lenalee and my son can't be in this problem . I will solve it , solve everything . I need to tell Allen that I love him so much ...

"We will go , too ."

Said my wife , Lenalee . She quickly put our clothes in bags with a smile on her face . I sighed , don't know what to say . When Lenalee decides something , she will do it . Even I can't stop her . She is a strong girl , isn't she ? And very strict . When I married her , I know everything about her . I've had trouble with Komui , too ... But have a family isn't bad , it's fun sometimes . I wonder if Allen has a family ...

"We go to Paris, Dad? The mission is about finding the reason why Akuma has increased in there ?"

"Yeah , something bad happened ." - I nodded - "I don't know the details , too . But you two should stay home . It my be very dangerous ."

"That's not fair , Dad . I and mom want to go . We're a family , aren't we ?"

My son angry said. He is a eighteen years old boy, has a red hair just like me and his eyes are from his mother . He always wear a white scarf , black jacket and a bandana . He just looks like me when I was young . He will be a successor of Bookman 50th after me . Tell you the truth , I don't want my son becomes Bookman . Because a Bookman can't have a heart to know "love" ... But you know , love is something makes you exist in this world .

I exist here because I have feelings to know love , to feel the pain from the past ...

**To be continue ...**

**Because this is the begining , so I don't have anything to say . Thanks for your reading . **


	2. Chapter 2 : Allen's existence part 2

**Thanks for all your reviews and reading , too . Although it has three reviews , I still very happy . That means lots of to me . **

**The Past , Now , And Future .**

**Chapter 2 .**

"What ? Allen still alive ? Are you sure , honey ?"

My wife surprised said . I told her all information I knew . This mission is find and search for Allen's existence . Hope Allen is alright until we get in Paris .

Lenalee is happy, too . She smiled brightly . Her eyes look very hopeful . Everyone in the Black Order has missed Allen since he left nineteen-years ago . I still have his last letter , his last word to me . Only I and Kanda knew the reason why Allen left . Kanda doesn't tell anyone that reason . ( luckily ) But after that time , I and him rarely meet .

We are on the train to Paris . It's snowing . Snow makes me remember Allen , remember his white hair and his beautiful smiles . He has smiled until the end I married . I ...

"Allen , who is he ? You and Dad always talk about him ? He's an exorcist , too ?"

My son asked Lenalee with curious eyes . I have never told him about Allen . May be he can find out that my secret love . Lenalee knew that I love Allen , but she always smiles and be a good wife since then . I'm very grateful and become a good husband for her . I have a family now .

"Allen , he is your Dad best friend . And my friend , too ." - My wife slowly said .- "He left Black Order nineteen-years ago . He's really strong , a powerful exorcist . And you should learn him , Lane . You lack your practice lately , don't you ?"

"Ah , I'm lazy . I prefer read book than fighting ." - Lane complained - "Fighting is so stupid . Does everyone want to fight each other ? Why do they start a war ?"

"You're just a child, Lane. If you think so, you can't become a man and never understand what happens in this world ." - I said with a soft voice - "Beside you're an exorcist . And fighting is the way makes you grow stronger to protect someone you love ..."

"Stop teaching me , Dad. I've known this already . I don't want to hear anymore ." - Lane answered back to me - "Bookman can't have a heart . They don't need emotions or love . And I want to be Bookman , not exorcist ."

Lane left his seat and ran to the next railroad car . May be he want to find somewhere to read books. My son is so stubborn . He doesn't ever to listen his dad . What a pain . What should I do to make him understand ? Becomes a Bookman doesn't mean anything . The important is live as you are . Live as your true mind , your true form .

Bookman can have a heart . He still records histories with emotions . Why does Bookman can't have a heart ? I don't know and I don't want to know .

I have a heart to know love . Because I love you, Allen . I want to fix my mistake . I want to heal your soul , Allen ... Please give me one more chance .

**.**

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**Two days later ...**

"Where will we move next ?"

My daughter asked . I sighed, start to think . Akuma increased more and more in Paris, so I want to find the reason . But my daughter, she's really tired of fighting Akuma . We can leave but Akuma will follow us . They want to kill me and my daughter because we have an innocent . I watched the snow slowly falling and said :

"Where do you want to go , Lavi ?"

"Somewhere that Akuma can't find us ."

Lavi answered quickly with tired eyes . She yawned and sat on the ground , watching the snow . In front of us is the bodies of Akuma . Ten of them , all Level 3 . They attacked us when we walked out . What happened in Paris ? Something wrong . May be Noahs are in this city , too ? If it's true , we really have serious trouble . And we need to move soon .

But where should I go? I don't know . The Black Order is only the most safety place. But I can't come back that place . I quit to be exorcist .

"Let me think ..."

I and my daughter slowly walked . In winter , there's nothing to see . Since we don't have much money to buy a Christmas-tree, my daughter always watches them through window shops . Poor girl... I feel that I can't be a good Dad to take care of my daughter . To make her happy . She always gets trouble when she with me . What should I do ?

Lavi suddenly stopped to watch some kids are playing snow balls. Those kids seems very happy with their parents . They have a comfortable life , don't they ? I wish my daughter was happy like them , too . But she has an innocent , she has a different path . She has to fight if she want to alive .

"I'm fine , Daddy . Don't worried . I know what I should do ."

My daughter quietly said . She smiled . I smiled back to her and pat her head . She grow quickly than I thought . I think , where should I go now ? I need to find happiness , with my daughter . Watching my daughter , I start missing Lavi . Suddenly , I want to see him again . I want to see his smile , want to touch his warm body .

I hold my daughter hand and took a walk with her . Luckily for us that we can have some free time like this . I have a family . I've become Daddy since I met my daughter . This is me now . And I don't need anything . But I start to wonder sometimes ...

Between my daughter and "Lavi" , who do I love most ?

"Dad , why don't you married ? I want a mother ."

Her question gave me a start . I confused , don't know what to say . Married a girl ? No , I never married anyone . Because my heart has a place for only one . That's Lavi . I love him . Because of his wedding , I left the Black Order .

Children need a mother , huh ? That means a boy can't love other boys ? I wonder ...

**. **

**. **

**.**

"We're finally here . In Paris ."

My wife said and breathe in the cold air. Well , Paris is really big and beautiful city . And I can't help thinking this place has Akuma . Because of Allen ? May be that's the answer. I and my son had to carried our luggage to the hotel. Perhaps we will stay in this city little longer to find Allen in this big place . That's a hard work .

I really don't know where to start looking .Yes , we need to look for Tim , the gold golem Allen always carried . But where's Tim ?

"Hey , mother , father , what's this ?"

My son said and pointed something in the air . I looked up . Wait a minute . Something is flying in the sky over us . Something color gold and has wings . That's ...

"Is that Tim ?"

My wife yelled . I started in surprised . Yes , that's Tim . The Golden golem we need to find . How lucky . My son ran after Tim , he's fast than I thought . I think he doesn't like this mission . I need to run after my son . He is a foolish son who never hears his dad .

"Sorry , Lenalee , I need to go ..."

"It's OK , don't worried . You want to see Allen , don't you ? I will wait you two at the hotel . Please take care ."

Lenalee softly said. I nodded. She is a kind woman, isn't it? May be she has known I love Allen than her . I'm feel sad for her . It's all my fault . Can I fix my big mistake ? First , I need to see Allen and say sorry .

Poor Lane . He hasn't known anything about this . I don't want he is the first finds Allen . I'm the one who will see Allen first . I ran after Tim and my son , I need to fast .

**.**

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**.**

"Hmm , where's Tim ? I haven't seen him lately . Hope he wasn't eaten by cats or dogs ." - Allen said with a long sigh .

**To be continue ...**

**PS : I'm sorry . This chapter is kinds of boring , isn't it ? I will work harder for next chapter . See you . ( think again , I don't good at writing romance story , but I will try ) **


	3. Chapter 3 : Meet again

**I'm back . Nothing to say since I'm very busy . I need to finish this Fic quickly . Hope everyone reads it . Thanks for your reading . ( and you , Laven Walker , you are my best friend . ) **

**The Past , Now , And Future .**

**Chapter 3 .**

"I have to find Tim . You go home first , Lavi ." - I said and looking around to find Tim .

"Yes , Daddy ." - She answered with tired eyes . Seems she's very tired . Poor girl - "What do you want for dinner ?"

"Anything you want to eat ."

I said quickly and had a look around my house. Tim wasn't here. Where did he go? Lately Tim hasn't been with me very much . I don't know why . Hmm , Paris is a big place . If Tim wasn't at home and with me , where else Tim could go ?

My daughter opened the door and went inside . My house is not big , small enough for me and my daughter to live . It's not beautiful, either, behind the park and large hotel. But we will move soon . We can't live here because Akuma is too many . We can't deal them .

I walked , sighed . I used to live with Tim , so... Ahh , I can't love without him . He is my only friend . ( a friend always be eaten by cats ) Oh well , he will return home soon , hope that . Or I will have little trouble .

"I should return home . It's getting dark soon . And may be Akuma will attack me ."

I mumbled , walked slowly . I opened the door and suddenly heard the sound of footsteps near by . Not Akuma, because my eyes didn't react. I yawned, tired, too. May be I should go to sleep . Think of it , I haven't found anything about Noahs or Akuma . They should hide somewhere in Paris . But for my daughter's safety , I need to move soon . Hmm , it's a hard problem . Somewhere doesn't have Akuma ?

"Ah , Tim ! You're here . Where have you been ? You made me worried for a while ."

I yelled and hugged the golden golem , Tim . Tim flew over and perched one my head . I wish Tim could talk . Sometimes , I don't understand what matter with Tim. Oh , anyway he returned now , not be eaten by cat .

"That yellow golem flew over there , Dad ."

I started at the sound of someone voice . Then a young boy with red hair appeared , he is really looks like Lavi , a eighteen-years old boy . Not kidding! Nineteen-years has passed and now , I'm sure he is thirty-seven years old. Not this kid . So who's this kid in front of me ? Don't tell me this kid is ...

A red hair kid looked at me with his serious eyes . His eyes is the same as Lavi's eyes . I stood transfixed with surprised , don't know what to do . And then , I heard the familiar voice . I can't never forget this voice . Never ...

"Lane , you've found something ?" - Because it's Lavi's voice . Why he's here ?

"I think I've found the person calls Allen , your friend , Dad . He's with Tim ."

That kid answer quickly and turned back , talked with his ... father . Wait , don't tell me , this kid is ... No way .

Lavi appeared. I was started to see he had quite aged . Yes, after nineteen-years, everyone becomes old . I grew old , too . And now , Lavi has become a father . He has a eighteen years old boy, the boy really exactly the same his father. That kid names Lane, huh ? I've forgotten , I has a daughter , too . Both of us have a family now .

"Allen , is that you ?..."

Lavi quietly asked . He surprised , too . I couldn't help but nodded . I can't hide anymore, can I ? Tell the truth , I am very glad to see him again . But I can't open my mouth to say that . Lavi confused and he couldn't say anything . What should I do now ?

Suddenly , Lavi looked at me and smiled . His smiles, I miss a lot . I still love him . Now, I met him again. I really want to say "I love you , Lavi" or hug him tight in my arms . But I feel something strange between us . May be because of his son is here ... Well , and my daughter , too . There is nothing between us now .

"Yes , I'm Allen ... Just , who are you ? You need something ?"

Lavi surprised and looked at me . I made Lavi that I don't know him . Yes, in front of me, it's not "Lavi" I've known before . He is different "Lavi" , who has a happy family . He doesn't love me anymore . My heart began to ache . My feelings hurt . The past I want to forget , it returns . The past I hate so much ...

"Allen , you don't recognize me ?"- Lavi tried to be calm and asked - "I'm Lavi , your ..."

I began crying. I ran into my house and locked the door . Why does Lavi here ? I returned to my room quickly . I don't know why I don't want to see Lavi again . When I saw his son , I started to remember . I only memories in Lavi's heart .

So Lavi's here to bring me back that place? I won't come back Black Order again. I don't have a reason to fight for them . Now , I'm fighting to protect my daughter and my life .

That love ... I hate so much . I hate Lenalee , who stole my "Lavi" . I hate everyone , who can't understand my feelings . I hate "Lavi" , who said our love is impossible .

I locked myself in my room. Tried to calm , tried to forget . I cried in silent. The moment that my soul has been broken again . Why is everything turning like this ? I don't get it ...

**.**

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"What's the matter with him ? Dad , that man is Allen , isn't it ?"

I sighed . I really don't know what matter with Allen . I feel hurt somehow . He doesn't want to see me ? But I want to see him so much . I miss my "Allen" , my precious love . Does Allen know that ? I stood in front of his house but didn't knock the door . Poor my son , he doesn't understand anything . That's fine with me . Because if he found out our secret love , I would have trouble with Komui and Lenalee . Although Lenalee knew that I love Allen than her .

What should I do now ? I have found Allen , but ... he didn't want to see me . May be I should let him alone for a while. I will come back later by myself , not with my son . This is a my problem . I don't want anyone interferes the problem between me and Allen . Not my son and my wife . And ...

Why can't I say something ? I still love you, Allen . Please give me one more chance . To explain everything . Please , just one more .

"Dad , I don't get it ."- Lane suddenly said and stood in front of Allen's house- "Why are you still standing right there? We have found the target- Allen . And we should bring him back to the Black Order . Let's go to his house !"

Lane took out of his Innocent and prepared to break the door to go in . Hey, wait, what is he doing ? My son such a idiot . He is a exorcist, not a thief or gangster ! Why doesn't he think different ideas? In stead of breaking someone's door? I must stop him immediately.

"Wait , Lane ! You must not do something like that. Your mom will..."- I was interrupted because the door suddenly opened . And someone stood in front of us with tired eyes .

At first , my eyes opened in surprised . Because who opened the door wasn't Allen . It's a strange girl that I have never met before . She looks older than my son, her hair is red and her eyes are very similar...I realized that her looks is the same as Allen's looks. Kind and generous . I have a strange feelings with that girl . And the first question , why is the girl in Allen house ? Is she a home helper ? No way , I don't think so .

"Who are you ?" - My son said pointing at the red hair girl - "We want to see Allen . And you are not ... Akuma , are you ?"

"No . I'm not . You two interrupted my sleep , that's all ." - The girl replied with a yawn - "If you don't have anything , please go away ."

"Wait , wait a minute ." - I looked at the little girl , feelings strange about her . Why does she know Akuma ? Normal persons have known nothing about this monster . Only Black Order and exorcists know Akuma's existence . May be she is a Akuma, too ? Akuma's in Allen's house ? No , that can't be . But who is this girl ? - "We said that we wanted to see Allen . Please , could you tell Allen that we want to meet him ?"

A moment of silent . The red girl looked at me with her serious eyes . She's thinking and looking up the upstairs. Finally, after five minutes, she gave us a answer with bored face :

"You want to see my Dad ? My Dad is in his room now . Seems that he's tired , just like me . We have been fighting Akuma lots of lately ." - After the next yawn , she continued - "So you should come back later , OK ? And if you are Akuma , you are not welcome in our house . Since my Dad doesn't have any guest ..."

"Of course we don't ." - My son replied quickly - "So you have been fighting , heh ? You are a girl , what can you do to fight ... Akuma ? Wait , Akuma ?! You are fighting them ? That means ... Hey , not for real ?! Are you an ..."

"Why do you know about Akuma ?" - I cleared my throat and asked - "And why are you in Allen's house ? You are his friend ?"

"Mister , you asked so much . I've already answered you ." - She blinked with a chuckle - "Allen is my Dad. He is my father. And you two are from Black Order , aren't you ? I see your black uniform is the same as my father usually wears ... So you may be friends with my dad ."

I could tell by looking this girl that she didn't lie to us . Lane's eyes opened in surprised . Both of me and him couldn't say anything . I can't believe it . Allen has a daughter ? That means he married with someone ? Ahh , I can't think it anymore . I feel hurt in my heart . May be I've already known the hurts that Allen had nineteen-years ago ... It's my fault .

"You guys are exorcist , right ? Not Akuma ?" - The little red girl moved closer to us - "I hate exorcist , so does my father . Anyway , you should leave soon ."

"And what happen if we don't leave ?"- I answered back- "We have to see Allen. There's nothing can't prevent us ." - I became serious after hearing that girl is Allen's daughter .

"Lavi , stay back . I will solve this problems . This red hair guy wants to meet me . So I will meet him ."

Allen appeared behind the little girl . His eyes are red because of crying . I feel sorry for him ... Wait , did he just call me ? I feel something not alright here .

His daughter looked at Allen , she nodded . They whispered something that I couldn't hear . I have a lot of questions for Allen . First , it's his daughter . And where's his wife ? I don't get it . I'm really selfish . I want Allen for myself , not anyone . Although I have a family . I was a bastard because of leaving Allen alone , couldn't understand his thoughts and feelings . But I really care about him . I love you , Allen ...

"Sorry misters . You can come in our house and talk with my dad ." - Red hair girl turned back and said with us - "And I'll waiting outside as you like , Dad . Please finish quick ."

I looked at Allen . He smiled and let me come to his house . He tried to very calm , but I feel that he will be crying soon . His daughter stood next to the door, waiting outside with tired eyes . She's a good girl , huh ? I wish my son like her , too .

I noticed . Snow falling again . It's getting cold soon ...

**To be continue ...**

**PS : Next chapter will talk about LaviXAllen for sure . A little trouble . So please wait a little longer for the next chapter , OK ?**

**Thanks for your all reading .**


	4. Chapter 4 : Time together

**Yeah , next chapter . Sorry for making you wait so long . I like this story so I update the next chapter . Don't worry , I try to finish "Dearest Forgotten Memories" as soon as I can . But you have to wait for two weeks .**

**Thanks for your reading . Hope you don't hate it . **

**The Past , Now , And Future .**

**Chapter 4 .**

Today , mister with red hair came and wanted to see my dad . How strange that my Dad let him go into our house . When I became his daughter , we never have any guest . So I think today is a special day ( and mysterious day ) .

I don't feel well and want to sleep . But my dad said I should wait outside . He has an important problems with this red hair mister . Whatever , I don't care .

It's snowing . Watching the snow falls make me feel sleeping . There's someplace that I can sleep . No , it's getting cold . I will catch a cold if I sleep outside like this . I yawned .

"Dad is so strange . Why am I waiting outside with that little girl , too ?"

The shorter red boy complaint with bored face . He's annoying . Anyway , thanks to him that I didn't fall asleep . My eyes are glassy . Arr , how tired . I didn't said anything while this red boy still watching me with his serious eyes . Well , no matter . This problem my Dad said may be taking long enough for me to get some sleep . What is my dad doing ? I still have to cook dinner and clear the house . So much work to do .

Does my dad know about it ? Well , I know everything . About that he doesn't love me . He loves someone calls "Lavi" , too , but not me . I feel a little sad when think about it . I used to be called "Lavi", my name now . And I'm happy about it. Since I don't remember anything when I was young, until I met Allen-my dad , I has some happy memories . And I don't know anything about me , I don't know my parents or their faces , their names ... How sad , too . But I try to forget it . I have a family now , Allen-my dad .

I stood up , slowly walked to... somewhere can sleep . That little boy got up , too . He ran after me. I don't care . Well, I care a little . Because I don't have any friends. My dad and me moved from places to places . So I can't have close friend . Besides , I have innocent . That means I'm an exorcist . And ... No , I hate becoming an exorcist .

Sometimes I wonder , do I have the reason to exist in this world ?

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I don't understand my Dad . What's in his mind ? He came in that Allen house and said that I must wait him outside and mustn't eavesdrop . I don't care about his business . The things I really care is ... Yes , that red hair girl , Allen's daughter . In my eyes , she is a mysterious person who doesn't like talking . Well , she has an innocent , too ? I started curious about this girl . And that not means I like this girl , OK ? So don't mistake .

"Hey , where are you going ?" - I asked , try to follow her . She's so fast .

"To someplace that I can sleep ." - She answered quickly and seems very tired . I looked at her and realized that she has a lots of injures than I thought . She can fight against that dangerous monsters . I still don't believe it . Because I have fought against them before , and the result ... I was defeated . If my Dad and Mom didn't come to save me , I would died . So that red girl is stronger than me ? I hang my head in shame . May be my dad is right , I can't become a man if I don't fight and get stronger . But ...

"Are you listening to me ?" - I yelled , hold her hand to stop her walking - "We haven't introduced ourselves yet . My names is Lane Bookman . What's your name ?"

"..." - No answer , huh ? The red girl looked at me , hope she doesn't think I'm crazy or something else . Five minutes of silent . I feel like that people on the street is looking at us . I little confused . - "I'm ..." - She began - "I'm Lavi Walker ."

"What ...? What a coincide . My dad's name is Lavi , too ." - The girl looked back at me with her eyes opened . After that , she made a sad face and sighed . Is something matter ? Her eyes became serious . And I don't get it .

But it's so surprised that her name is the same as my dad . I think that name isn't suitable for a girl . Girl need a beautiful name .

"Your hands warm than I thought ."

She suddenly said that . I raised my eyebrow and realized that I still hold her hand . Her hands is warm, too. It's smaller than my hands, of course . I couldn't imagine those hands have to fight with Akuma . Opposite me , because my hands only write , write and write . I said that I want to become Bookman , didn't I ? So I don't fight much . Well , this is the first time I hold girl hands , so ... Feel a little strange .

"Ah , so ... I ..."- I can't say her name because that makes me remember my dad . Call her makes me a feeling that I call my dad , not her . What a trouble . This man Allen , what's in his mind to named a girl like this ? I wish I could change her name so that I can easily call her . And in my mind , Lavi is not a good name . ( because I don't like my dad )

"You can call me anything you want . I know your feelings ."

She looked sad . I released her hand and let out a sigh . Not good. I don't have experience when talk with girls. My dad is different, he can smile everywhere and every time. I want to be like him , too . What should I do ... It's embarrassed , isn't it ?

The red hair girl continue watching the snow falling . Her looks made me an idea , I said :

"I will call you Snow . Because you like snow , don't you ? Sorry that I can't call your name ... Because my dad ..."

"Well , you don't have to say ." - She turned to look at me with a beautiful smile - "I will call you Lane , then . Is it OK ?"

"No problem ." – I smiled back , nodded . My grandpa always says that Bookman doesn't need a name . Bookman only does one thing : records the histories with no emotions . But now, I think a name is very necessary. Because when you have a name, it's the prove that your are existing in this world . Just like me and Snow ...

**.**

**.**

**. **

Allen looked out at the window.When he saw our kids went away somewhere,he grabbed my hand more firmly. I blinked, kind of surprised , but I could say anything. Allen led me towards to his room . I'm little confused . My face went red .

He opened the door and let me in his small room and locking it behind us . He turned to me , looking determined , through there was a definite blush on his cheeks . I should say something ... I couldn't open my mouth . A moment of silent between us .

Suddenly neither boys could hold back as they pressed their faces forward . And our lips crashing together. In the matter of second , both of us were on the floor. Allen crawled on top of me, pinning me down. He eyed me with hungry sort of look in his eyes. I surprised a little but then , I smiled with Allen . I couldn't help but hugging him tight in my hands , likes I won't let him go again anymore .

Allen's eyes widen.Looks like he felt totally and completely relaxed against my body. He cried again and hold me tight in his hand with a soft smile . I wiped his tears , softly said :

"Please don't cry, Allen. I swear I won't let you go again . I will always stay by your side forever . I won't let you alone anymore..."- With those words said I crashed my lips down onto Allen's . My lips were violent and hot against Allen's tear drenched ones . The salty taste only mad I want to kiss Allen rougher .

Tell you the truth , I never kiss Lenalle like I am doing with Allen. Allen's lips , his eyes , his smile ... They are all perfect . I love him so much . I love everything about him .

I couldn't hear anything except Allen's heart thumping in my ears. Think again , Allen is really a cute boy( although nineteen years has passed ). Allen gasped and shivered against me . I smiled , it was a rough kiss , wasn't it ? Quickly , we continued kissing again .

Oh man , it was a wonderful feeling , to have Allen withering under his firm grasp . I had always dreamed of doing this to Allen. ( for nineteen years! )Now that I only want to hold him as long as possible . No , forever , I will never let him go again , I swear .

I carefully broke the kiss and started into Allen still teary eyes. I breathed slowly , patting his head , felt warm and happy . Yeah , Allen is my only love. He is the first one teaching me how to love . I own him so much that I can't hardly payback . But this time , I will fix my mistakes . I won't make Allen cries anymore . I only want to see Allen's smile , want to make him happy forever . Because I love him .

"I... love you , Lavi . I've missed you so much , you know that ? I..." - Allen said and still had tears in his eyes . He hold my hand tight . I smiled with him , softly said .

"I know . I love you , too . So Allen , please ... forgive what I did for you . I swear I will make you happy forever . We will live together for now and forever ..."

"Lavi ..."- Allen slowly nodded with a cheerful smile on his face- "Yes , of course . I will forgive you everything ..." - He stopped, looking at my eyes to find the right words to say next - "Lane , is your son , right ? ... With Lenalee ."

"Err ..." - I sighed . Don't know what to say . The white hair boy looks sad ... Yeah , both of us has family and or children . There is a distance between us . Recall it , I have lots of questions for him and I want him answer clearly -"So I've married , too ? ..."

"No ." -Allen answered very quickly - "Although I have daughter but I haven't married . That red hair girl isn't my real daughter . I found her a long ago ... And I call her ... Lavi . Because her hair makes me remember you ..."

"It's that all ?" - My eyes opened in surprised when heard Allen names his daughter is ... Lavi . I couldn't say anything and feel little confused . I sighed again , didn't think that happened . I hugged Allen tigher , told him -"It's OK . I don't mind it . The problem now is... what can I do to live with you forever? Both of us have our children now. So it's very difficult . And Lenalee is here , too . She wants to see you again , Allen . Everyone in the Black Order miss you . And important , my mission here is bringing you back , and find out what happens in Paris ..."

"The reason why Akuma increases ?" - Allen raised his eyebrow , started thinking - "My daughter has said something about this ... She said that she knew the reason why Akuma have increased lately . But she never tells me . How strange ..."

"Really ?" - I yelled , surprised - "I think we should go to talk with your daughter . Err ... You don't mind it ? Anyway , we are still an exorcist , so ..."

"It's OK ." - Allen slowly stood up with softly smile - "After finishing this , we still have lots of time to spend together . And I want to be with you , too ."

"... Yeah , me , too ..." - And then we kissed again . I hugged Allen tighter and tighter . I love him, love his eyes, love his smile, love his body . And I want to take it all . This time I will be always by his side , don't let he feels lovely anymore . I swear .

**.**

**.**

**.**

I opened my favorite books and started reading . The park has nobody now . Because the weather is cold and the snowis startingfalling. I flicked off snow on my hair , turned around to see the red hair girl next to me. Err , she's sleeping on my shoulder now. And I have to say this , she is very cute when she's sleeping . I want to see her like this .

Carefully , I covered her with my jacket . It's cold now . And it seems that my dad still hasn't finished his problem . What's the matter with him , anyway ?

And then something strange came... I started , dropped my book , my eyes widden . You know , I tried to be calm . It's...

**To be continue ...**


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